Previously on Nurse Jackie
Eddie and your husband become friends
And the Titanic is sinking and only one of them gets to survive
Which one!
- I like that one - Me too
We'll take it
Every interaction is stored in the pill-o-matix's memory
Your shitty pill dispenser is replacing me
- Does he have a boyfriend? - Who?
Is Jackie seeing anyone?
- I was going through my divorce - Oh?
- He's allergic to Codeine - But I didn't give him Codeine I gave him Fentanyl
It's a different class of Opiate
He had some earlier and he was fine
That's because he was given the right dosage, can you read?
You're off the floor, no more patients, you can answer the phone but that's about it
This is not good
He's a fucking criminal
It's her father, step father
My sister's gonna be destroyed
You heard from your sister?
She's got as far as the hospital
And then was turned away from my mother's bedside by the wicked step father
So if it resets itself you can get anything you need
Think about it as "going away present #2"
She tries to come across as this like "Welcome to the parish"
I hated her then and I hate her now
And you should've seen her kid
It's a good thing you didn't have kids with Jenny Flynn
Why would I have had kids with Jenny Flynn?
I know about you guys
It was 2 weeks when we were 16
- And then you met me - And then I met you
Oh boy
- I'm so tired Kev - I know babe
How am I gonna make this up to Grace?
You know what she's gonna remember?
Yeah that her mother got her kicked out of a tap class
No, that you were protecting her
She's not gonna end up in therapy?
No she's probably still gonna end up in therapy .. But not for this
I got a little surprise for you when you get off work
- You do? - I do, actually it's a pretty big surprise
But, you gotta come here to get it
At the bar, midnight, my sister's taking the girls
- How intriguing! - It's supposed to be
Who is luckier than me?
Not Jenny Flynn!
- Hey, you're open? - Not for another hour, but there, come on in
- What can I get you? - What kind of beer you got?
I've never been a fan of movies where idiots talk to people in comas
Would you consider signing something clearing All-Saints of any neglect or malfeasance?
Just a thought
We'll talk more when you wake up
Tylenol, blow me
I'm initiating an investigation into the Lederman coma before I send him to the ICU
I see .. Well I'm sure if you need anything you'll ..
Jackie! I need an official statement
I want you, and Zoey, in my office in 5 minutes
Thank you Jesus!
Unacceptable
My name is Zoey Barkow and I'm really really sorry Mr. Lederman
Nurses' station, please hold
Zoey, can you get over here please?
Hello? Hello?
Pick up the phone ladies!
Nurses' station, hold please
- What's up with your scrubs? - They're gray
Yes I can see that, I don't like them
Well I don't like them either that's why I'm wearing them
That's not a good reason
- I'm wearing them as a sign of remorse - Yeah I get it I get it Zoey
Nurses' station hold please
This is Gloria Akalitus
I am stuck in an elevator, do not hang up on me!
- Who did you just hang up on? - Mrs. Akalitus .. Or not
I think she's stuck in the elevator
- There's gonna be an investigation into Mr. Lederman isn't there? - Yes
- Should I call the elevator repair? - No
Do not ..
Hello! Hello! Hello?
- Well that went well - What's up?
Lederman's neuro consult
- We need to talk - Not true
- You broke your own finger - I'm sorry?
I'll be right back
- It took me a second, then I figured it out - Aha?
- You were trying to cover your ass with the donor - Ok?
You panicked, you broke your own finger and came crying to me so I feel sorry for you and tape it up
Uh-uh?
But, what you didn't count on, was that you and I, have amazing chemistry
You kissed me, right here, in the this exact room, right where we're standing
So I broke my own finger, so I could have a long time with you because we have amazing chemistry
You said it, not me
You are a moron
Man! I thought we were gonna get a Pyxus
- Ok? But how unflattering? - Very unflattering
Donkeys are gray, think about it
What if he wakes up and the first thing he sees is me wearing kiddy scrubs
He'll think I don't take what happened seriously
- What if he never wakes up? - Hey
What if he wakes up but he's blind, what about the rest of us?
We're stuck watching you mope around in gray
- Takes a village - That's not what that means
Yes it is!
- Psst, America's next top model, 2 O'clock - Wow!
- Dibs! - But ..
Oh please, she'd eat you alive
- Hi, how can I help you? - Fucking Dominican
Umm, Norwegian?
Hop off the raft and New York state gives you a flat iron and a salon on Assoc street
No questions asked, what the fuck!
Aya ya yay, fire at the night club?
She got her hair straight
My neighbor's Jewish, very frowy, she goes to a place on Adam Claiton Powell
I can get you the number if you want
I want her to be my nurse
I'd love to, but I've been stripped of my powers
Is that your wife?
- Yeah, Jackie - She's beautiful
- You're married? - No,
I'm seeing someone, but she's married, two kids
It's a rough road
Brother, you don't know the half of it
Is that gum?
Did I mention that tonight around about 10ish I'm going to break the law?
If you did, I missed it
Well I am and I need your help
I would except no less
I'm having my mother shipped in from London
Much like a pair of shoes
If you're waiting for me to unleash a veil of tears, you'd be old and gray without a tooth in your head
Hum, nice visual
Look, Mr. Lederman your reflexes are alive and kicking
Legally, I can't touch the paper work
So I need you to admit her as a Jane Doe from Dawn and Ramsey Park
Just wanna get a look at her with my own eyes
I'm already in the hooks for one coma, what's one more
That's the spirit!
Akalitus called from the elevator again, wants to know if the repair guys are here yet
Tell her yes
- Are they? - No
Looks like Lederman's waking up, let's see if we can get that tube out of him
You think we'll dodge a lawsuit?
I fucking I hope so, it was my student who dosed him
I don't need this shit Mohammed, I really don't
Let's keep Akalitus in the elevator
Ladies and gentlemen, the very lovely and talented Gloria Akalitus
Applause, applause, applause, applause
It's nice to see you again Dave
Well, you know my very dear friends Neil .. Oh you know Neil
Well we were just remarking about how momentous this year has been both in health care and in cinema
Me and Neil? No we're just friends
Hey, you reached Eddie, leave it
Hey Eddie, it's me, listen I think I'm doing something wrong
Can you give me a call when you get a minute? Thanks, bye, love you
50 year old male discharged last week after laparoscopic hernia repair
Full of sutures
How's your pain Mr. Jackson?
Good, nothing, sat out and watched the game, took a bite of pizza
His intestines are popping out
Ew
Mortuary school, wow!
Yeah, I'm just tired of people yelling at me while I'm trying to save them
Yeah, I hear you
Hey Zoey, how you doing?
- Good, I guess - Heard you put a guy in a coma
Is that why you're walking out the laundry?
They won't let you near patients anymore huh?
Does everybody know?
And I so can be near patients, I just can't treat them
You know, just keep your head down and don't get all "me culprit" with the nuns here, it'll worse
Smart man!
So you wanna grab a slice after work or something?
- No, no, no - That's cool
Zoey, just go to your locker, put on your happy scrubs, please? Truly
Lederman is gonna come out of this thing I promise
So just go
Even if I don't get fired, I never want to administer meds again
You fall off that horse, you get right back on it
I know, but I nearly killed him
Ok, keep that to yourself
And I think I should tell him the truth even if he never wakes up
You know what Zoey, clearing your conscience is not gonna make him feel any better
It's gonna make you feel better, it's gonna feel like you're doing the right thing
But you're not, it's selfish
- Honesty's the best policy - No, it's not
Stay!
Night shifts! So like, she comes home in the morning then?
That's gotta suck a little
- You know what she does? - Tell me
She asks me what I want for breakfast
No matter how fucking tired she is
Rubs my back, makes me eggs
Life O'Reilly
I haven't heard that one in a while!
Yeah well, hang around me you'll hear all sorts of shit
Cheers
You know what I was thinking?
You deserve better than an open relationship
Don't listen to me, I'm a freaking mess with these stuff
- I used to think I was good at it - Not me, no clue
I'm so messed up right now, it's embarrassing
I like her so much, and I know I shouldn't
And I keep thinking if you knew how much it hurt
Yeah me too, I think I gotta handle her
- Really, no pain? - No, I'm good
You know my ex wife used to bitch that I never talked
Look at me now, I'm spilling my guts here
Think she'll take me back?
- Want us to call her for you - Umm no
You might get a little sympathy
Blood from a stone
You know what you need to do? You need to make this guy jealous
What's his thing? What kind of guys does he like?
Straight guys!
- Gimme your phone - What for?
Trust me
How about a .. How about a shot of Jack?
- Yeah? - Yeah
Alright!
Share them with me
- Cheers - Cheers
- Can I show you something? - Absolutely
Wow, that's nice!
It's the ring I never could afford to give her
Still can't, but what the fuck right?
I'mma surprise her with it tonight
- How about that? - How about another
Please
Not prompt!
I hate this fucking thing
- Not as much as I do - Wanna bet?
You don't have a Xanax do you?
Not on my passing, thank you very much
Doesn't hurt to ask
You really happen to be scrawling away pills in my pockets don't you think?
Yes, yes you are right?
- We're waiting for your mum? - We are
- Don't make me beg for moral support - I'm right here
- Goddamit, Zoey change your scrubs - Really grim
How is that gonna make Randy jealous?
Come here
Nice rebound Coop!
- No wait wait I was just .. - Oh my god, kidding!
Is that who you're all messed up about?
Mr. Ledermen?
Are those rabbits?
I was actually wearing gray scrubs before you woke up, you know
Proper coma attire
Guess it was a little depressing, but I felt like I had to do something
Anyway, how are you feeling?
- Thirsty, how about you? - Super relieved and very sorry
I heard you the first time
"My name is Zoey Barkow and I'm really really sorry"
You know Mr. Lederman?
I'm not so crazy about Kevin Costner either
Do I know him?
Umm, what movie won the Oscar for best picture of last year?
I remember Show girls, that was a good movie
Ok, bye!
Oh my god, I broke him
I heard every word, did I touch you? Don't fucking touch me
Oh fuck!
Hey everybody how are you?
I wanted to see how the fucking robot's working out for you
Jackie how about you, how do you like it?
Uh, I don't as a matter of fact, let's go outside ok?
Yeah ..
- Eddie Watzer, you are drunk - Yeah, so what are you gonna do, fire me again?
- I'm asking you to leave - Back off Akalitus, I got magic bracelets
Magic fucking bracelets
Alright Eddie, that's enough
How about me and Eddie go outside and we'll have a cup of coffee
Yeah how about that? Think of the possibilities
- Jackie and Eddie, Eddie and Jackie having coffee - Eddie, that's enough
Please stop, please stop alright?
I'm calling security
Oh just save your bullets alright? I'm leaving!
Oh, I met Kevin, and that's a very nice bar you got
Don't touch me man, don't fucking touch me
Picked up a Jane Doe at the airport, kinda sad, probably somebody's mother
Fucking depressing, that's what that is
She's all yours
Look away
Piece of fucking shit
Oh, excuse me, keep that hand elevated
Hear me when I say it's gonna be fine
- I'm gonna meet your kid - I got a little surprise for you when you got off work
- Mummy, I can't breathe - I think you're sick
Think of the possibilities, Jackie and Eddie, Eddie and Jackie
It's been raining a lot lately
Went to the hospital tonight
Don't make me beg for moral support
There's a calm before the storm, I know
It's been coming for some time
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a Sunny day
'til forever, on it goes
So I know, It can't stop, I wonder
I wanna know, have you ..
Anyone else see that?
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